Overheard in public

Couples discussing foreigners...

MAN {in a very Southern accent}: Sometimes I cain't understand 'em on the phone.

WOMAN {very Southern, smoker's rasp}: My husband will give 'em one chance to repeat whut they said and if he still cain't understand 'em, he'll ask for someone who talks English.

Caution: You are about to enter the Conspiracy Zone

(Before I begin, let me state that I am a Christian. I believe in the Second Coming but not necessarily in the form of the Rapture. I believe every generation is in its own “end times” since each of us have only our personal life span to reconcile our lives with God. I believe God will always take care of us and I do not spend time worrying about the end of the world but instead try to prepare for the end of MY world, which could happen at any moment. And yet, in spite of these long-held beliefs, I find myself starting to wonder if perhaps something larger IS happening in our universe. So for just a moment, I’m going to allow myself to engage in an alarmist, conspiratorial mindset. Off we go...)